Great Editorials: Black Magic, Hilary Rhoda for Vogue China, photographed by Greg Kadel, January 2006

I love this editorial! The simplicty of it makes it so dramatic and Hilary Rhoda looks great. She goes from looking a little scary (the lone, stoic portrait of her in the long black dress), to looking like a rock star. Also, sorry if the pictures are a little out of whack, it was a nightmare trying to get them to look right at all. If someone knows any tricks to posting a lot of photos at one time (other than don't do it, heh), I would be grateful to them for life.

Brooke Shields

Brooke Shields photographed by George Hurrell

Brooke Shields has one of the most beautiful faces I've ever seen documented on the screen. Even the famous photographer George Hurrell came out of retirement to photograph her. I also think she had that scary, unnerving, Lolita-like "is she a woman or a girl?" type of look that she seems to have lost as she got older.

Many seem to comment that she's lost her beauty, even though she's still gorgeous to me, I can see what they're saying, she looks very different now. It's not so much the typical "she got older" argument (yet technically, it really is), it's just that her facial structure is very different now. She was born with strong features, those same strong features combined with the youthful plumpness of her face from her child and teenage years made for a striking combination. Our faces get thinner with age of course, so with that youthful plumpness gone, Brooke's strong features became sharper. It's basically the opposite story of Michelle Pfeiffer, who was very average when she was younger, but suddenly blossomed into a very beautiful woman within the last several years (it's also worth noting that Michelle has very soft, delicate features).

Brooke is still attractive though, and and has that regal, sophisticated look, like what Ingrid Bergman and Grace Kelly had in their 40's, I could only wish to be that hot at 42. But can you imagine being one of the most beautiful women in the world at only 15?

In the movie, Wanda Nevada, Brooke plays the title character. Part of the premise is that Wanda Nevada is a 13-year old runaway who has fled Catholic school. Peter Fonda's character "wins" her in poker game, he feels obligated to take her with him as a way of protecting her, but he mostly regards her as a pest. In one scene, the two characters are at a reststop diner, Wanda has just gotten into this big argument with Peter Fonda's character, and decides to go off on her own. As she's making her way around the parking lot, she's whistled at and solicited by various bikers and truck drivers. She's obviously frightened, but she keeps on walking, a creepy guy follows her, he threatens her and tells her to get into his truck. Peter Fonda drives up just in time to rescue her. The juxoposition of the make-up, jewelry, the tough game she talks, and the fact that she is still just a kid underneath all of that make-up couldn't be greater. It's a feeling that I was familiar with growing-up. I liked wearing make-up at that age, fixing my hair, and wearing trendy clothes, but underneath it all, I still felt awkward and self-conscious. When I was 14, I met this actor who was a friend of my cousin's, he was cute enough and in his early 20's. Upon meeting him, he asked me " I think I've seen you before", I told him I was pretty sure that was impossible. I related this to my sisters and was suprised to learn this was an obvious pick-up line. I remember feeling both incredibly flattered and weirded out by this, I wasn't used to being seen as a woman (he didn't know how old I was until later).

I think it must be some sort of miracle that Brooke came out of her teenage years uncorrupted. She didn't become addicted to drugs, she went to college. Part of it could be contributed to her mother. Terri Shields was a classic case of a stage mother, she was famous for being rigid, and hard to work with regarding her daughter's career. I do think it's strange for a mother who has a reputation for making Mama Rose look laid-back, would let her then 10-year old daughter pose naked, with a face full of make-up in a series of photos (a photographer whose name was appropriately, Gary Gross), or star in a film like Pretty Baby. I remember reading that Teri regarded Brooke like a painting, her beauty as something that should be seen and shared, which I think, is an interesting way to look at the career choices she made for Brooke. I can't get over the feeling that Brooke was, in a way, exploited for her looks. I think it's great that her beauty was documented on film, but the problem lies in the type of film and the way she was photographed.

Anyway all of that aside, I love how Brooke's look is experiencing a resurgence in the fashion world. John Galliano made a spring/summer collection inspired by the way she looked in Pretty Baby. Last year, The New York Post ran an article, telling everyone to throw out their tweezers. Hilary Rhoda, Doutzen Kroes, Ali Micheal, and Marina Linchuk are all in high demand. Natalia Vodianova was hired by Calvin Klein because she reminded him of Brooke. Of course, none of the new girls are quite like the real thing.

left: Brooke Shields, right: Marina Linchuk

The Red Shoes

When I was a newborn, my granny bought me two volumes of books entitled "The Worlds Best Fairy Tales". As soon as I was old enough to read, I read them cover to cover. Even my mom and my older sisters read them. I think they appealed to them because they were not the sanitised Disney versions that they grew up with. These were the real deal. In these stories, the ending wasn't always pretty, the girl didn't always get the prince (The Little Mermaid). Sometimes people outright tourtured their stepmothers and mothers-in-law to death (Snow White).

One of the more gruesome tales I remember was The Red Shoes (a great annotated version can be found here). I remember there was this horribly frightning illustration featured in the book of the main girl Karen, dancing out in the wilderness at night, with the red bearded executioner staring menancingly at her behind a rock, holding an ax. If my scanner wasn't broken I would unleash this traumatizing image out into the internets.

Anyway, the story itself is a good read, (and I absolutely love the 1948 Moira Shearer version), but then it devolves into a religious fable about how you should go to church every Sunday, be humble, and sing hymns. Which, there's nothing wrong with that, I guess, but how can you end a story about a girl with an enchanted pair of red shoes that make her dance for so long, that she begs someone to cut her feet off(....and they do!) in such a way? It's a strange horror story full of gore and suffering. I'm sorry, but ending a story like that, with bible-thumping church lecturing is insulting. That's like ending The Texas Chainsaw Massacre with a "hey man, they should've just all gone to church Sunday night and this would never have happened". But then again, isn't that one of the hallmarks of the 80's teen slash flicks? You know, how the first victim in most of those movies is usually a poor, hapless, heathen of a teenage girl who has premarital sex a lot? And the only surviving character is a virgin? Perhaps The Red Shoes was a precurser to all of that?

Another good version of "The Red Shoes" is the music video for Mark Ronson's "Stop Me". In it, a guy is just chillin out at a coffee shop and happens to see an old man leave a pair of white trainers in the street. He becomes curious and decides to go investigate. He follows the shoes all the way to the back alley where he finally captures them. He keeps them in a cage in his appartment. As he doses off in front on the tv, the shoes decide to escape and encase and tie themselves onto his feet. The hijinks start there and it's a pretty good video, one of the better one's I've seen in a while. I have to say it's way better than the animated tears "international" version.

The Cats

Irina Kulikova from img.com

Move over Gemma, Lisa Cant, Lily Cole and the rest of you with oversize doll faces. Your days on the catwalk are numbered and it's time for a new breed of model (at least according to The New York Times anyway). Make room for the cats:

"Sometimes there is a hankering, more felt than articulated, for types with snub noses, shortened upper lips, eyes set on a slight diagonal, and petulant expressions that inspire one to offer them a dish of cream."

"I call them the cats," said Pat McGrath, a make-up artist who has worked with virtually everyone of importance in the business. "When I first saw Irina [Kulikova]," Ms. McGrath said, "I thought to myself, "She looks just like a little cat."

Clockwise from top: Behati Prinsloo and unidentified male model (who kind of looks like a young Malcolm McDowell from "Cat People" btw), Irina Kulikova, Marina Linchuk, Caroline Trentini, Jessica Stam, Madalena Frackowiak, and Sheila Marquez
Center: Sasha Pivovarova

The original article can be read here: In Paris, a Fevered Pursuit of "It" by Guy Trebay

Also from the same article:

"Wherever at the dozens of parties during fashion week one finds the pretty cats, the old dogs can also be seen sniffing around. And there at the Tuesday night party the models Carmen Kass and Jessica Stam gave for "the green cause" of some sort at Le Baron-a charming dingy dive first popular decades ago- was Bruce Willis , in uh, very antic form.

Was Mr. Willis there to learn more about the neoprane florals at Balenciaga? Was he there for a lesson from Ms. Kass on carbon neutral living? Was he there to dance with Ashley Olsen hiked around his waist? (oh, wait, that was someone else, in another corner of the bar)."

Oh Bruce, give it up. You're old. Don't you think it's time to throw in the towel? Especially when your conquests are friends of your daughters? I mean, at least think of them. That's got to be totally embarrassing for their dad to be pulling a Ryan O' Neal.

Bjork - Human Behaviour

I'm the youngest of 4 girls. It was pretty tough growing up, there was an 8 year age gap between me and the next youngest sibling, so I basically grew up in a house full of teenagers. Naturally that meant that I rarely got control of the main television in the house, thus, I ended up watching a lot of MTV (I watched the very first Real World when I was merely 6 years old).

One summer MTV decided to introduce their US viewers to the new artist Bjork. And this is the video that they decided to play the hell out of all summer.

Imagine the terror of watching poor little Bjork getting stalked, then eaten by a giant demonic teddy bear! I'ts all trippy and cool now, but I'm forever convinced this is the reason why I never quite got into Bjork. Thank you Mike Gondry.

Balenciaga RTW S/S 08

pictures from style.com

I got a look at the infamous S/S 08 Balanciaga collection yesterday. Of course fashion writers and editors are wetting themselves over this collection. Many are calling it fresh, innovative, well constructed, and very daring. It does look different from any other collection. However, what bugs me about it is that it's supposed to be Ready to Wear.

It sort of reminded me of those old back order McCall's prom dress patterns you see at Wal-Mart, looking all neglected because it's got puffy sleeves and is from 1992. Maybe it was the floral print that was throwing it off for me. Though the designs were beautifully beaded and made of silk, those floral patterns made the designs hard to swallow for me. I think it was Anna Sui that said visualizing everything in black makes people understand a design better, but I tried to envision Ghesquiere's gladiator-like ensembles in black and they still looked odd. Maybe these designs are just too foreign for my feeble little mind to "get". I mean, didn't people think Coco Chanel was crazy when she showed everyone the revolutionary sack dress? Weren't people pretty peeved about The New Look? Or the Marc Jacobs F/W 05 collection that helped kick start the volume craze?

Of course the there is a fine line between "mad cool revolutionary crazy" and "weird nerdy crazy". But as I kept looking at these designs, I began to wonder how us common plebians would even approach wearing these clothes. Possibly a bright yellow blouse with the blue and yellow floral skirt? As I thought about it more and more, it began to haunt me like a David Lynch movie. At first you're all "wtf did I just see?" Then as you keep thinking about it, you begin to analyze everything you just saw. You then start to seeing something interesting and want to watch it again and again.

However, I'm still on the fence. Check back with me next year when I'm wearing the hell out of puffy sleeves and looking like a flower garden just threw up on me. Kelly Kapowski, eat your heart out.

Enough with these boring "it" girls!

Just about every other female my age watches this borefest called The Hills. It follows four girls in their early twenties as they party, hook-up and feud in LA. It should be interesting, but it's not. We never really get a peek into their lives, the conversations, the fights, the romance always has that unnatural feel to them, as if they were staged by a producer. The girls are all one blur of tan skin and blonde hair, with the occasional brunette version of them thrown in. The boys come in "pretty boy" or "slimy K-Fed lookalike".

The star of the show, the Marcia Brady lookalike Lauren "L.C." Conrad is our heroine. This is one of the main problems I have with the show. Were supposed to root for because eons ago (on another "unscripted" reality show), Lauren's crush, Stephen chose to date another girl, Kristen. Kristen was cute at first, but soon became obnoxious and annoying. Thus, the show devolved into a Jennifer Aniston/Angelina Jolie sort of rivalry, with the fans splitting into Team Lauren or Team Kristen. Most people seem to be a member of the former team.

In reality, (real reality), Lauren is probably the girl many would have hated in high school. A snobbish, rich, cheerleader type who, when in charge of making up a seating chart for her high school graduation, decides to put her and her friends together in the front row. She claims to have an interest in fashion, but she mostly wears yawn-worthy ensembles such as black flip flops and jeans, with a black tank top.

This chick too vanilla to be interesting. She's got friends, but if I ever had to converse with these people on a regular basis, I would probably shoot myself or die of boredom. Audrina, the shows only brunette, is the major stunner of the group, comes across as dim most of the time (she's also rumored to be a cokehead). Audrina hooked up with some shady dude that looks like a greasy lounge lizard version of Johnny Depp, who ironically, once abandoned her in Vegas- literally, he flew home without her and left her to fend for herself. Whitney works at Teen Vogue with Lauren, and there's not much to write about her, other than I love her name. Heidi is Lauren's ex-best friend, she and her boyfriend helped spread a rumor about Lauren having a sex tape. Their confrontations are like watching two plants have a disagreement.

The people on Laguna Beach/The Hills and the rest of MTV's reality shows, are disapointing. It's as if they walked out of a Bret Easton Ellis novel. It's almost like a race of Stepford people. We rarely see them have any meaningful conversations, that don't aren't awkward or rehearsed. They care about things like who saw who at whatever club last night, and non-existant sex tapes. It's almost scary to watch. It's not enough that we have Paris Hilton.

From Bret Easton Ellis's Less Than Zero:

"But I thought you were going out with Warren," Kim says to Blair.
I glance over at Blair.
"I was, but I'm not 'going-out' with Warren," Blair says, missing a beat.
"You were not. You fucked. You didn't 'go-out,'" Alana says.
"Whatever, whatever," Blair says, flipping through her menu, glancing over at me, then away.
"Did you sleep with Warren?" Kim asks Alana.
Alana looks at Blair and then at Kim and then at me and says, "No, I didn't." She looks back at Blair and then at Kim again. "Did you?"
"No, but I thought Cliff was sleeping with Warren," Kim says, confused for a moment.
"That might be true, but I thought Cliff was sleeping with that creepy Valley-turned-punk, Didi Hellman," says Blair.
"Oh, that is not true. Who told you that?" Alana wants to know.
I realize for an instant that I might have slept with Didi Hellman. I also realize that I might have slept with Warren also. I don't say anything. They probably already know.

I Love a Good Pair of Eyebrows Part 1:Jennifer Connelly

It's one of the first things I notice about a person. Eyebrows help make the whole face, they can practically make someone beautiful. Jennifer Connelly has some amazing brows:

Jennifer Connelly photographed by Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott for V magazine

She's a great actress. A good thing about her is that she's fearless as an actress. She's not afraid play characters like in Requirem for a Dream. She managed to work her way out of the sexpot ingenue roles and make herself an interesting career. I admire that even though she's gorgeous, she didn't go off on a Jessica Alba "I'm too hot, so I don't get any good roles/no one takes me seriously even though I posed in Maxim, woe is me" tangent. Jennifer actually worked hard to get where she is.

Though people actually do criticize Jennifer Connelly's looks a lot. One of the main complaints people have about her is her eyebrows. The usual complaint goes something like this: "Jennifer Connelly would be so much prettier if she did something with her eyebrows" or "eww she has man- eyebrows!" To those people, I give you a picture of the 21 year-old Megan Fox:

Megan Fox by Brian Bowen Smith

Is this how you want Jennifer Connelly to look? With porntastic eyebrows that make her look 20 years older, evil, and constantly pissed off?

Rock on with your perfect, full eyebrows Ms. Connelly.

photo by Steven Shaw

My Afternoon Browsing for Madame Alexander Dolls

So I've been looking for a birthday gift for a my niece, and what could be a more classic gift than a Madame Alexander doll? What I found turned out to be far more interesting than I expected. I was suprised to find out that Madame Alexander has a doll line similar to Barbie, only way more classy. Seriously, they make the Bratz dolls look like crackwhores. Of course, they come with a hefty price tag though, ( they can run from $80 to $200). But check out how freaking cool they look:




The one on the left is even carrying a tiny birkin bag.

However, "Newport Alex" looks freakishly like Maureen Dowd:

I wonder is she also comes with a tiny New York Times and a copy of Are Men Necessary?.

I don't think I'm willing to drop that much cash for one of these though. Even the clothes for these things are ridiculously expensive. For example, this tiny dress is available for a whopping $80:



On the other hand, I could totally see myself wanting to buy a "Psycho Doll". How cool is this? It even has Anthony Perkin's shadow in drag!


And after buying the Psycho doll, how could I not buy this Tippi Hedren "Birds" doll?



They also have a range of "Gone With the Wind" dolls. They even have a "Prissy". She's cute, but I keep having bad flashbacks of that Nip/Tuck episode where Brittany Snow's nazi character's mom collected mammy dolls. However, I like to pretend that racist assholes like that don't exist and are not the one's buying the doll. They also had a Scarlett with two interchangable dresses entitled "Dinner with Rhett: Then and Now". One in the traditional full circle skirted garb as seen in the movie hence the "Then". The other one is a little black dress, hence the "Now". Seriously, what the fuck? I believe they ran out of ideas with that one.

All in all, I didn't end up finding a suitable doll for my niece. Maybe when she get's older I might buy her one, but I really don't think a 3 year-old is going to appreciate a Madame Alexander doll. And seriously, they're too damned expensive (and that's not even counting the shipping and handling).

I'm remembering all of those cool fancy dolls I used to have. Most of them ended up without their original clothing, ratty hair and short necks from having their heads manually screwed back on. But I'm totally getting that Birds doll.