Just about every other female my age watches this borefest called The Hills. It follows four girls in their early twenties as they party, hook-up and feud in LA. It should be interesting, but it's not. We never really get a peek into their lives, the conversations, the fights, the romance always has that unnatural feel to them, as if they were staged by a producer. The girls are all one blur of tan skin and blonde hair, with the occasional brunette version of them thrown in. The boys come in "pretty boy" or "slimy K-Fed lookalike".
The star of the show, the Marcia Brady lookalike Lauren "L.C." Conrad is our heroine. This is one of the main problems I have with the show. Were supposed to root for because eons ago (on another "unscripted" reality show), Lauren's crush, Stephen chose to date another girl, Kristen. Kristen was cute at first, but soon became obnoxious and annoying. Thus, the show devolved into a Jennifer Aniston/Angelina Jolie sort of rivalry, with the fans splitting into Team Lauren or Team Kristen. Most people seem to be a member of the former team.
In reality, (real reality), Lauren is probably the girl many would have hated in high school. A snobbish, rich, cheerleader type who, when in charge of making up a seating chart for her high school graduation, decides to put her and her friends together in the front row. She claims to have an interest in fashion, but she mostly wears yawn-worthy ensembles such as black flip flops and jeans, with a black tank top.
This chick too vanilla to be interesting. She's got friends, but if I ever had to converse with these people on a regular basis, I would probably shoot myself or die of boredom. Audrina, the shows only brunette, is the major stunner of the group, comes across as dim most of the time (she's also rumored to be a cokehead). Audrina hooked up with some shady dude that looks like a greasy lounge lizard version of Johnny Depp, who ironically, once abandoned her in Vegas- literally, he flew home without her and left her to fend for herself. Whitney works at Teen Vogue with Lauren, and there's not much to write about her, other than I love her name. Heidi is Lauren's ex-best friend, she and her boyfriend helped spread a rumor about Lauren having a sex tape. Their confrontations are like watching two plants have a disagreement.
The people on Laguna Beach/The Hills and the rest of MTV's reality shows, are disapointing. It's as if they walked out of a Bret Easton Ellis novel. It's almost like a race of Stepford people. We rarely see them have any meaningful conversations, that don't aren't awkward or rehearsed. They care about things like who saw who at whatever club last night, and non-existant sex tapes. It's almost scary to watch. It's not enough that we have Paris Hilton.
From Bret Easton Ellis's Less Than Zero:
"But I thought you were going out with Warren," Kim says to Blair.
I glance over at Blair.
"I was, but I'm not 'going-out' with Warren," Blair says, missing a beat.
"You were not. You fucked. You didn't 'go-out,'" Alana says.
"Whatever, whatever," Blair says, flipping through her menu, glancing over at me, then away.
"Did you sleep with Warren?" Kim asks Alana.
Alana looks at Blair and then at Kim and then at me and says, "No, I didn't." She looks back at Blair and then at Kim again. "Did you?"
"No, but I thought Cliff was sleeping with Warren," Kim says, confused for a moment.
"That might be true, but I thought Cliff was sleeping with that creepy Valley-turned-punk, Didi Hellman," says Blair.
"Oh, that is not true. Who told you that?" Alana wants to know.
I realize for an instant that I might have slept with Didi Hellman. I also realize that I might have slept with Warren also. I don't say anything. They probably already know.
