Something I Noticed

While I was posting to the imdb boards for Criminal Intent (yes, I know! for shame! I like the lowbrow and take the low road from time to time), I got to thinking about how I have never liked any fctional Serena I've come across on tv (OTOH--Williams and Altschul, you girls are fine):

Exhibit 1:


Name: Serena Southerlyn

Portrayer: Elisabeth Rohm

Reason for Hateration: Being so stiff and horrible that she was officially christianed "The Rohmbot" by The Internet (originating from TWoP).

Real Not-So Rational Reason for Hateration: She was the first blond A.D.A. in a history of brunettes (Richard Brooks, Jill Hennessey, Carey Lowell, Angie Harmon).

Exhibit 2:



Name: Serena Celia Van Der Woodson

Portrayer: Blake Lively

Reason for Hateration: In a nutshell: she has a case of marble mouth, is an adultress, slept with her best friends boyfriend; is not very bright (she thought she killed someone....when she really just witnessed them accidentally overdose). Instead of making things happen, things happen for her -- a huge sin in fiction and literary terms.

Real Not-So Rational Reason For Hateration: She's not as awesome or as interesting as Blair.

Exhibit 3:




Name: Serena Stevens

Portrayer: Saffron Burrows

Reason for Hateration: Cold, stiff, and lifeless. Her main entrance began with this line: "I respect the heriarchy." Did I mention she's fun at parties?

Real Not-So Rational Reason (s) for Hateration: She and Nichols horned in on the Goren and Eames going away episode, angering many fans; she's not as awesome or as interesting as Eames, Wheeler.....or even Falachi.


In summeration, televisions Serenas are all a comely bunch, long limbed for the most part, but just missing that vital 'something' or 'it'. All in all, if you name your fictional character Serena, be forewarned.